The criteria is:

If they wouldn’t *like* you saying it – whether they were there or not – then you shouldn’t say it.

I understand that, but it leaves me with a big question about honesty: are we supposed to not say anything negative about another person, even if it’s totally true and we’re trying to phrase it in the nicest way possible?

I mean, for example:

Someone asks you if Mr X, a carpenter, is reliable, because they want to hire that person for to do some work for them.

You’ve employed Mr X, and you know his work is not good quality and he’s unreliable.

What are you supposed to say?

Must you make excuses, or twist your words so you don’t say anything negative? (Thereby not giving an honest answer, but squirming and actually doing a disservice to the questioner).

Or should you just give the honest answer – but in the nicest possible terms?

Because, either way – the answer is something Mr X wouldn’t like you to say, whether he was in front of you or not.

You don’t want to hurt Mr X, but you don’t want to lie. The truth is his work isn’t up to standard; and that’s not your fault. And i don’t think it’s honest to hide that fact from someone who is asking you the information.

So, this is a little backbiting dilemma i have.

Any answers?

no not really- it was a joint iniative and is a joint effort!!

lol but thtanks for the “girl power” talk

lol

who are you Kuchi?

thanks.

i suppose the message is simple.

we often get bogged down in complicating things when giving da’wah but in actual fact the message is perfected and we just need to deliver it right?

anyway, the principle of backbiting and slandering is simple too, we just gotta apply it and stop making excuses…

alia