Never JUST Chit Chat…

To continue on the last post: it is important to take account of what you say.

It’s NEVER JUST chit chat. Take cognisance of the potential harm of your words.


Before you say anything bad about an alleged “bad” person or a person’s “bad” deed, remember:


  • Make 40 excuses for your Muslim brother / sister.


  • Hide your Muslim brother or sister’s faults and Allah will hide your faults on the Day of Judgment.


[The Prophet (PBUH) told one of his companions, who was about to tell him (PBUH) something about someone else, not to tell him something bad about the next person lest he should judge that person upon meeting him/her.]


Lesson: No matter how badly someone may have hurt you or how wrong they were, do not tell people of how this person has wronged you, unless it’s absolutely necessary for mediation. Otherwise be quiet or very vague.




Would you say those things in front of the person you are talking about in his/her absence? If not then hush!


“O ye who believe! avoid suspicion as much (as possible): For suspicion in some cases is a sin; and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay you would abhor it . . .But fear God : For God is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.”   (Quran:49;12) 



Remember Surah Furqaan-the purpose of life:


The true virtues of the servant of God are:


1)    they are humble and forbearing to those below them in spiritual worth


2)    they are constantly in touch with Allah



3)    they always remember the Day of Judgment


4)    they are moderate in their behavior



5)    They avoid treason to God, humans and themselves.


6)    They stay clear of falsehood and futility



7)    They pay attention to the signs of Allah


8)    Their ambition in life is to bring up families in righteousness and to lead in all that is good.



 Hence we see that the purpose of our being is to be praising our Lord by living the life He has mapped out for us. there is no point in revenge, in conjuring up past demons or spreading the word of those who have harmed you in the past…



I plead guilty. Pardon me my Lord and forgive me my errs…



8 thoughts on “Never JUST Chit Chat…

  1. wslms


    i suppose the message is simple.

    we often get bogged down in complicating things when giving da’wah but in actual fact the message is perfected and we just need to deliver it right?

    anyway, the principle of backbiting and slandering is simple too, we just gotta apply it and stop making excuses…


  2. slms

    no not really- it was a joint iniative and is a joint effort!!

    lol but thtanks for the “girl power” talk


  3. When it comes to ‘backbiting’, the criteria isn’t just:
    If u wouldn’t say it in front of them, don’t say it at all.

    The criteria is:

    If they wouldn’t *like* you saying it – whether they were there or not – then you shouldn’t say it.

    I understand that, but it leaves me with a big question about honesty: are we supposed to not say anything negative about another person, even if it’s totally true and we’re trying to phrase it in the nicest way possible?

    I mean, for example:

    Someone asks you if Mr X, a carpenter, is reliable, because they want to hire that person for to do some work for them.

    You’ve employed Mr X, and you know his work is not good quality and he’s unreliable.

    What are you supposed to say?

    Must you make excuses, or twist your words so you don’t say anything negative? (Thereby not giving an honest answer, but squirming and actually doing a disservice to the questioner).

    Or should you just give the honest answer – but in the nicest possible terms?

    Because, either way – the answer is something Mr X wouldn’t like you to say, whether he was in front of you or not.

    You don’t want to hurt Mr X, but you don’t want to lie. The truth is his work isn’t up to standard; and that’s not your fault. And i don’t think it’s honest to hide that fact from someone who is asking you the information.

    So, this is a little backbiting dilemma i have.

    Any answers?

  4. I’ve since come to the knowledge that – when it comes to matters of importance (e.g. business, enquiring about a person for marriage), you are allowed to say the negative things about a person (but obviously without malice) – because you need to warn the one asking about things which could harm them.

  5. Pingback: Watch what you say | slip-sliding away…..

  6. Pingback: Guarding our speech | Hadith | Ramadan 2010

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